So the Lord came through...once again. I just love how he blesses us all the time. I kept praying something would work out so we wouldn't have to pay too much with our car and it turns out our warranty for our car covered everything! We only had to pay our deductible which wasn't bad compared to the real bill! What a relief. We still have everything else we to pay for but that is a huge stress reliever. I should learn not to worry...tisk tisk...
I went to Relief Society Enrichment tonight and it was SO nice just to sit and chat with the women. Afterwards, I went and visited some of the sisters that weren't there. Luckily I had just made some cookies for a couple of them so I gave those to them too! It was really nice and I was amazed at how touched they were that I would think of them. It made me feel really...worth something.
So now life is a LOT better. Still stressful but whatever. I have come to find that as soon as I stop thinking about one thing, something else pops up. I tend to plan for the future all the time and in the end...it is never how I planned it. Right now Derek and I are trying to figure out what to do with the future and it's SO hard! I feel pressured to take so many different routes (get my masters/doctorates, where to move, what field to go in nursing, when to have children etc. etc.) it's ridiculous. I know how my husband feels and he is really sweet about supporting how I feel and not pressuring me, but I am torn. I have NO idea exactly where I want to go in nursing, whether I want to go STRAIGHT to my Masters or take a year or two off (I want to get my Masters for SURE I just am not sure when . I'm REALLY starting to get burned out).
I had always planned about keeping my private life and decisions secret but...I have been thinking about children a lot lately. I had always planned to wait until I had finished my masters/Doctorates (AKA I was 26ish) to have kids, but now I don't want to wait that long. I really feel like being a mom is the BEST thing I can do in this life. No, I KNOW it is. I just don't want to wait years to have kids. But so many people tell me, "If you have kids you'll never get back to school." I honestly would like to prove them wrong, but what if it is true? Is stopping at having a Bachelors in Nursing really so bad?
I have looked into it and there is an online program where you can get your masters and then do clinicals at the hospital. I like that idea because then maybe I could have kids and get my masters at the same time! I don't know...I guess we'll see. I probably shouldn't be worry about it since I won't graduate until December but...planning/deciding when to have kids is a BIG responsibility.
Then I always worry, "Am I baby hungry because everyone has a baby? Or because Heavenly Father is letting me know his plan?" I honestly feel like my heart has been changed because a year ago I was TOTALLY against starting a family within the next 5 years. I don't know. I honestly don't even know why I am writing this. Hmm...
I don't know if I am looking for opinions because everyone's is different and not everyone understands my situation. And maybe I am... I just don't know.
I do know this. I will make my decison based on what my husband, my Heavenly Father, and I decide. I also know that the Lord is mindful of our needs and there to give us counsel whenever we need it. I plan on and already have turned to him on this matter. Hopefully I will make the right decision. Eek...
2 comments:
Yeah, now I am EXACTLY in the same boat as you... just a couple years older and not sure at all about a Masters :)
I was just talking to my parents and both said it would be really hard to go back to school once you have children and now is the best time in life for me to do school, especially with this economy and blah blah. I really believe that is true, I have heard it from so many people. On the other hand, it CAN be done. You CAN still finish school with children, it will just be a lot more difficult.
A Bachelors is still good. Many girls don't finish school at all because they have children. You seem like the type that is very determined so I know if you really want a Masters, you will get it, you know?
In the end, it is what you, your husband, and the Lord decide. Good luck! I will keep you guys in my prayers. It will be interesting to see what happens... for both of us!
I struggled with the same thing. Only mine was a decision to get my Bachelors before I started having kids. Pray about it. The Lord answered my prayers, and he will answers yours too. (I know you already know this). I think it's different for every family, and Heavenely Father knows what is right for yours.
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